To my body after pregnancy,
I am sorry. I’m sorry for not appreciating you more before having a baby, for always thinking that you could be better.
I’m sorry that I spent so much time and effort wanting to change you and not realizing that my time was being wasted.
There were many days that I was mad at you. I was mad at you for not looking like the bodies of those women in the magazines. I was mad that my boobs weren’t bigger or that my waist wasn’t smaller.
I thought that having those things would make me happy and make me a better person because more people would love me. I didn’t realize that that isn’t what love really is.
Now that I have had my baby though, I realize how wrong I was.
My body, you have changed so much in such a short period of time.
I have seen you grow and stretch as you housed my precious baby. You kept him safe and warm until he was ready to come out and meet the world. And even though it was strange and uncomfortable, you did it without complaint.
Even now, you continue to provide for him by supplying the milk that he needs to help him grow big and strong.
I may not have appreciated you before, but I truly appreciate you now.
I appreciate that though you look differently now than you did before pregnancy, that you are better and stronger. You have brought a person into this world. An actual person! That’s a crazy thing to think about.
You were able to build a living, breathing baby. You built that baby and kept him safe for nine long months. And you are still doing everything you can to keep him safe now.
Though he is out and experiencing the world on his own, you are still protecting him. Whether that be picking him up after a fall, kissing his forehead when he’s sick, or simply holding him while he falls asleep, you are still making sure that he is safe and happy.
So I will try not to be mad anymore.
I will not be mad at my stretch marks because they are my battle scars. They show the great sacrifice that we went through to bring our baby into the world.
I will not be mad at my boobs for being a little saggy. They show my determination to breastfeed my baby for an entire year. They show the struggles that we went through dealing with exclusively pumping and remind me that we survived.
I will not be mad that my pre-pregnancy jeans don’t fit quite right anymore. My hips are a little wider and my stomach isn’t quite as flat, but that is okay. All of these changes are completely worth it when I look at my son and see him smiling at me.
So to my body before pregnancy, I say again that I am sorry. I may not have thought you were perfect then, but I know, without a doubt, that you are perfect now.
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